Prepare to perish! Storm Saddam scheduled to tear Britain apart next Tuesday afternoon.
The Met Office have issued their first ever Black “Prepare to Perish” weather warning for next Tuesday to Thursday. The warning covers all of the UK except South Wales which has a red “Danger of Death” warning.
The epicentre of the once in a million year storm will stretch from Luton to Lerwick and anyone living in this zone has been advised to ensure their affairs are in order.
Wind gusts of up to 40 miles per hour are expected and people are being advised to enhance their slim chances of survival by seeking refuge underground if possible. Exactly how this should be done is not clear from the press release.
All transport will be suspended, the internet will be switched off and cash will be banned for the entire week.
For those lucky enough to survive this cataclysmic event there will be only short term relief. The Met Office have confirmed that there are further severe storms scheduled for October and November.