The government has launched a consultation on the planned UK weather for the first 12 days of July 2025.
A government spokesbot explained
“We have spent the last 30 years perfecting weather management and now that our methods are out in the open it is time to marginally democratise the process.”
The consultation will ask respondents to rank from 1-5 their preferred options for the period 1st-12th July this year. The five options are-
- Glorious sunshine with a 19 C heat bomb.
- Pissing it down non-stop.
- Wet and very windy- we have storm Sadaam waiting in the wings.
- Boring dull and grey- typical British weather.
- Lucky dip. We will randomly pick one of the above 4 options.
The consultation is being organised at regional level so its possible that Devon and Cornwall could get the ”blow torch” whilst South Wales is sodden.
The spokesbot explained
“Currently we can only order weather at a regional level. But in 2.4 years we will have drilled this down to postcode level so future consultations should be much more parochial.”
The consultation will open shortly. All adults with a clean social credit record will be invited to participate.